Do you ever feel like a huge weight lifts from you on Friday afternoon? For the past two weeks, it's been non-stop at work and at home - and tonight, when I got on the train, I pulled out one of my current knitting projects (a prayer shawl) and exhaled.
Just as it's getting ready to leave the station, the train does this little jog thingy - it sort of rolls back just a fraction, and then hauls forward. I've realized, on my busiest and/or most stressful days, that that little jog thingy is a trigger for me. At the moment the train jogs back, I find myself exhaling, knowing I've made it on to the train and I'm on my way home. Today was one of those days - not that I don't like my job - au contraire! It's just been a string of non-stop wacky/wonky weeks. And I've been thinking about tomorrow all day long - tomorrow the ashes of a relative of mine will be laid to rest - a man who was far too young to die.
I truly believe that when we go, it's our time - it means that our work here is done, but I've had a difficult time reconciling that this time for a 41-year-old. I think, how could his work be done? And yet, it must have been. We (as in my large extended family) all miss his wry sense of humor, his flashing grin - he was a brother, a son, a cousin, a nephew, and an uncle. We all miss him every day and we wonder why he's gone, and we hold his light in our hearts so he will not be forgotten - it's there, in a safe place, in each of us. In the time between his passing and tomorrow, a baby has been born who was named after him, and my family bought a star. I like to think it's the second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning . . .