Holding On . . .
I cannot wait for this election to happen. Somehow the stress is more palpable the closer we get to the finish line. It's less than a week away and I am on my last nerve.
I definitely have COVID fatigue - and unfortunately it won't be going away any time soon. The numbers in Illinois are jacking up day after day. Mitigation efforts have been put in place again all over the state, and now the Mayor of Chicago and the Governor are sniping at each other because the Mayor's not happy about the shutdown of indoor dining in the city, saying that the virus is instead being spread by small, in-home gatherings. Seriously. Now is NOT the time for them to be crabby - we need to pull together the best we can or we will never get through this.
We are so close to the finish line of what I fervently hope and pray is the end of the Dump administration. I'm tired of my phone ringing constantly all day long. I'm tired of being asked for money multiple times every day via email and text - even though I know it's important and I have donated (and will donate again later today). I'm tired of having to fact-check every fricking thing for the past four years because Dump is a serial liar. I'm just plain exhausted, but I'm not giving up. For the last four years many of us have continued to fight the good fight.
What is the good fight? To me, it's the fight against the disintegration of our democracy. The fight against white supremacists and neoNazis. The fight to understand our own implicit bias to learn from it and by learning, do better. The fight for affordable healthcare, good schools, and clean water. The fight to retain Medicare, Social Security and the Affordable Care Act - programs that people rely on. The fight for our LGBTQ brothers and sisters to have the same rights as every one else does. The fight for the soul of our nation.
I believe we have a soul as a nation, but the current administration has legitimized hate, misogyny, racism, and white supremacy in ways not seen in this country in a very long time. What does our soul look like after four years of having a narcissistic sociopath at the helm of the country that used to be the leader of the free world? I find myself answering that question with another question: How many times do we have to explain . . .
- That Black Lives Matter?
- That Aunt Jemima's and Uncle Ben's images are rooted in slavery and perpetuate systemic racism in our country?
- That women should have control over their own bodies?
- That social programs that benefit millions of people do not make a country socialist?
- That the Confederate flag is a symbol of white supremacy, slavery and hatred?
- That the removal of statues of Confederate generals is NOT erasing history (they were erected long after the Civil War to further the cause of white supremacy)?
How many times do we have to explain? The answer is as many times as it takes.
We're so close to moving forward on a renewed path - to be able to build back better - but I remember what happened in 2016 when I could not even imagine anyone but Hillary winning the election, so I'm waiting to exhale. It won't be over until it's over.
In the meantime, I'm not sleeping as well as I can and I've been cranky and lethargic. I managed a walk yesterday and today - short ones just because I wanted to get back home. No reason to get back home - I just wanted to be home rather than out, I guess.
I treated myself to a six Liberty Gold Box puzzles off eBay last week and they are so wonderful. My therapist says that things like puzzles and the color-by-number app that I have on my iPad are actually great tools for soothing anxiety, so I no longer feel silly for enjoying both of them. Well, I never felt silly about the puzzles ;-)
I saw this today on Facebook. I have been giving major thought to abandoning Facebook altogether, but every now and then something like this rolls into my feed. These words from the Talmud touch me in a way that I can't actually explain, so I will leave them here to explain themselves . . .
Onward . . .
I'll leave you with some vintage Stevie Winwood, with some Chaka Khan and Nile Rodgers thrown in for good measure
Facing our fear and standing out there alone
A yearning, and it's real to me
There must be someone who's feeling for me
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be
Bring me a higher love (oh oh)
Bring me a higher love
Where's that higher love I keep thinking of?
Bring me a higher love (oh oh)
Bring be a higher love
I could rise above on a higher love
I'm not too late for it
Until then, I'll sing my song
To cheer the night along (bring it)
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be
Comments
Michelle, I think there is more chance of unrest if Dump is re-elected. I do feel hopeful about Biden and Harris and I think - particularly if we are able to hold the House and retake the Senate - that they they will go a long way to repairing the damage done by the current administration. I'm crossing my fingers. There's a puzzle company in Boulder, CO called Liberty Puzzles - they do wooden puzzles but they are very spendy.