That'll Do, Pig. That'll do . . .

Yesterday  I said I was going to have to start saying no more often.  I didn't realize that I was already doing it.  As I look back over this first week of NaBloPoMo, I am very, very glad that I decided to participate.

Not only do I call myself a piper, I nearly always describe myself as a writer. Getting stuff down on the page is important somehow.  It's where and how I often work through things that are troubling me.  The act of writing often makes things very clear for me - and one thing I have discovered about myself in my life thus far, is that I often am doing something or am already on the path toward a goal before I become fully conscious of it.  I think that sounds a bid odd - but consider the following. . .

• Prompted by the construction in my home early this year, I began a serious downsizing of pretty much everything in the house.  I knew that divesting was going to be best for me in the long run and it felt very right to be letting things go.  I figured I should learn more about it, and all of a sudden - it was everywhere, so I picked up the Kon Marie book and read that I'd already pretty much done what she espouses.

• I was a member of Ravelry group, but I never went all in - I paid $106 for patterns and I got every pattern I paid for, but I knew when to say enough and I backed away.  The group turns out to have been led by an alleged con-artist.

These are just two examples, but I found myself this week standing up and saying either "no" or "enough" before I wrote yesterday about needing to start doing it.

• Last week I was approached by a nominating committee to take a place on a board for an African violet organization.  I respectfully declined.
• Last fall I test knit for a designer and she made a big public deal about gifting all her testers with project bags.  No bags.  I followed up with her six months ago and she had a sob story about why they weren't done.  I followed up a few days ago on Friday, and of course there was another excuse.  I wrote her back and pretty much called her out on her shit.  I wasn't rude, but I was very clear that if she never intended to send these bags she never should have mentioned them in the first place. And then I told her I'd make it easy on her - I thanked her for the opportunity, and told her I'd skip the bag.  Her response?  "I'm sorry you feel that way."  Really???  More like, sorry you caught me in a lie. My last word?   "Live and learn . . . "  I cut my losses and said ENOUGH.
• Yesterday, the chair of an African violet show next spring asked me take a job for the show, and for only the second time (first time, see above) in my African violet life, I said no.  I've always said yes - but this time, I knew that it was best for me to say no.  Man, it was hard, though, because this woman is organized and she'll do a wonderful job.  I would love working for/with her, but the timing is all wrong, and so I said no.

And so, clearly, I'm already on the path I need for myself - and it's good.  I'm taking care of myself by saying no when I need to, and I'm happy about that.

I affirm that what I do is enough.

What I am able to accomplish on any given day - it's enough.

What I do is enough.

I am enough.

There it is - that power that I am taking back. When I choose my activities so that they support rather than deplete me, I know I'm on the right track.