Commitments . . .
On New Year's Eve I generally do a reading for myself as I head in to the new year. I read the Runes and have for many years. They are not a fortune telling device and they aren't magic. They are an oracle of the self and they direct us inward for the guidance that we almost always know exists within us. I use some card decks to support my readings - angels, ascended masters, goddesses and Celtic Druid animals are my usual choices. They all bring pieces of the puzzle together. Here is my reading from New Year's Eve.
I know. It likely looks like mumbo jumbo to you - but to me, it's a pretty powerful reading. Runes are read from right to left (like Hebrew), and I use a simple 3-Rune spread. The three symbolize the following:
- The situation as it is
- The challenge to be overcome
- The situation that can evolve as one meets the challenge
I use Ralph Blum's book to interpret readings. Here is what he says about these runes.
The first rune is Sowelo, the rune of Wholeness, Life Force, and the Sun's Energy. This rune stands for wholeness, that which your nature requires. It embodies the umpulse toward self-realization and indicates the path you must follow, not from ulterior motives from from the core of your individuality. Seeing after Wholeness is the Spiritual Warrior's quest. And yet what you are striving to become in actuality if what you, by nature, already are.
The second is Algiz, the rune of Protection, Sedge or Rushes, an Elk. Algiz serves as a mirror for the Spiritual Warrior, the one whose battle is always with the self. The protection of the Warrior is like the warning rustle of the sedge grass or like the curved horns of the elk, for both serve to keep open space around you."
And the last one is Mannaz, the rune of the self. The self is the starting point
for everything else. This rune also requests clarity of intent, but
more importantly a willingness to change - to live the ordinary life in
an extraordinary way.
To me, this reading says: "Starting in the place of Wholeness, and with Protection moving to the Self."
You guys, this was so what I needed to hear that night. The rest of the reading affirmed that all those things swirling around in my head - well, now is the time to move forward on them :-) But most important were the stones. The last time I read for myself was in September when I finally was able to go through my late mom's funeral box. Mannaz showed up in that reading in the same position, as well. And I was reminded again of the stanza of T.S. Eliot's Little Gidding.
And isn't it funny somehow that I was not able to move into that place back in September? I know that sometimes it takes me more than one go to get something major right. This has been proven over and over again in my life. It feels like now might be the time I return to my "self" and know it - truly know it - for the first time. So this journey started months ago before I was truly aware of what I was doing or where I was going.
One of the cards in my reading reminded me of something that I have tried and stumbled with in the past. Meditation. So, as part of my commitment to myself, I restarted my meditation practice yesterday. Another of the cards was about Breath, and breath work is something that I have wanted to explore for some time. I've got plenty of CDs that cover it, so yesterday I spent some time pulling everything into iTunes and setting up playlists so that I could start working on it. An added benefit is that as I was working on it this morning, I ended up coughing some gunk up out of my lungs. (Ah, the joys of having asthma . . . ) So I think breath work is going to be really beneficial for me. I'm starting with Andrew Weil's Breathing The Master Key to Self-Healing. Who knows if I will heal myself - but at the very least I will be calmer and breathing better and those things are really important. I've got some other CDs from Peggy Cappy that I'm also going to go through and check out.
I figured I'd work through the Andrew Weil one first, though, because I've had it forever and when I pulled it out yesterday I realized I had never actually looked at the second CD in the set. I'd seen the first one and there was only one track on it and it was hour long. I remember thinking, "Dude, how am I going to breath for an hour when I have no idea what I'm doing???" Well, I never realized - until yesterday - that the actual exercises were on the second CD of the set . . . So, feeling kinda stupid and I don't even remember what is actually on the first CD, but I'm starting with the exercises and will go from there.
So - two things I have committed to for January - Breath work and Meditation. I have a good number of meditation and guided imagery meditation tracks so I'm using them for now and will keep an eye out for new ones as I go along.
I actually committed to a third thing for January. I will do yoga twice. I know twice doesn't sound like very much, but I figured I should start small because every other time I've tried, I either can't get started or I get started and it's overwhelming. So - twice. :-) I picked out the days and marked them on my calendar already. One was today, so I pulled out my Peggy Cappy Yoga for the Rest of Us DVD and when I was done I was reminded how much better I feel when I actually do it. There is a lot of breath work involved in yoga so that's a bonus.
As far as steps go, I really enjoy walking, but the weather has been poor here since Christmas Eve. I've missed the trash pickup two weeks in a row. The guy didn't come today to plow my driveway until late in the day and we had an ice storm yesterday. Normally I wouldn't think anything of this and would have been out, but after this summer when I fell and split my knee open and it took months to heal - well, I just cannot afford another fall so I'm being a little more cautious. On days when I'm stuck indoors I'm shooting for 3,000 steps just walking around the house, and have been able to do that the past two days. I'm two for two. Yay Me!!! :-D
Why do I think I will be successful this time when I have failed so many times before? Well, I said I was committing to myself. Before, I would always let other things get in the way of promises and commitments to myself. I've committed to six months that coincides with the Balance365 Coaching (that I hope to get into next week). I think the fact that I am no longer working is going to be a big factor in my success this time.
Today I made a lasagna. I think it's so cool how you go from this
To this
To this
To this!
Dang! It was good! I had a plain lettuce salad with it, and I parceled out the rest and used the FoodSaver to freeze it in individual servings, so that's 11 meals in the freezer.
Look!! Amaryllis #1 is teasing me!!
And amaryllis #2 is about to open its second bud!
So - onward we go. Sometimes the steps are small, and sometimes they are big. What's important is that we keep moving forward, even if only a little at a time.
I struggled to find a song today. That almost never happens. So I fell back to a classic. Enjoy . . .
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