Friday, June 29, 2007

Endings and Beginnings

Do you ever feel like a huge weight lifts from you on Friday afternoon? For the past two weeks, it's been non-stop at work and at home - and tonight, when I got on the train, I pulled out one of my current knitting projects (a prayer shawl) and exhaled.

Just as it's getting ready to leave the station, the train does this little jog thingy - it sort of rolls back just a fraction, and then hauls forward. I've realized, on my busiest and/or most stressful days, that that little jog thingy is a trigger for me. At the moment the train jogs back, I find myself exhaling, knowing I've made it on to the train and I'm on my way home. Today was one of those days - not that I don't like my job - au contraire! It's just been a string of non-stop wacky/wonky weeks. And I've been thinking about tomorrow all day long - tomorrow the ashes of a relative of mine will be laid to rest - a man who was far too young to die.

I truly believe that when we go, it's our time - it means that our work here is done, but I've had a difficult time reconciling that this time for a 41-year-old. I think, how could his work be done? And yet, it must have been. We (as in my large extended family) all miss his wry sense of humor, his flashing grin - he was a brother, a son, a cousin, a nephew, and an uncle. We all miss him every day and we wonder why he's gone, and we hold his light in our hearts so he will not be forgotten - it's there, in a safe place, in each of us. In the time between his passing and tomorrow, a baby has been born who was named after him, and my family bought a star. I like to think it's the second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning . . .

1 comment:

caroleecarter37 said...

What a beautiful tribute to your friend. Annie, you and I think alike. I too am a BIG believer that we are all here to complete some kind of "job" that has been pre-designated from us in another, past life. Once we have done that, it's "our time" as you say. Now, most people would say to themselves "well, I'm not going to complete any jobs because I don't want to leave this earth!" =) Seriously, one day we'll have a long talk about this.

Meanwhile, you might want to read Brian Weiss's book "Many Lives, Many Masters." It was an eye-opener for me. I'm currently reading "Seth Speaks."