Monday, November 5, 2012

I'm Falling Apart . . .

I wrangled a Saturday event where I was on my feet most of the day on a hard floor.  It went very well, but it's clear to me now that I'm not a kid any longer.

How do I know this? 

Because I appear to be falling apart.

I had to ice my lower back twice on Saturday after the event, and my feet really hurt.

To paraphrase the late, great Bettie Davis: "This getting older is not for sissies." (And if you don't know who Bettie Davis was, you need to watch some classic films.  Start with All About Eve.)

My left foot is OK, but my right foot?  Well, I sat around all day yesterday in my jams and had to cancel my standing gym appointment with my friend, C; and now, I have the surgical shoe on again because although it's not bruised looking, it seems a little swollen and it's throbbing on the outside and on top, and my middle (had roast beef), ring (had none) and little (cried Whee Whee Wheee, all the way home) toes feel odd.  I am staying home today to see if I can get in to the podiatrist out here because mine's only in on Thursdays in the city.  I think that my foot is not OK this time.

It has occurred to me that I might be too fat for my feet.  I feel sad when I think that because I've struggled so mightily this year and gotten pretty much nowhere in this regard . . .

Then, on Sunday morning, I had an ocular migraine again.  I had one in 2008.  And now I've had another.  They are very bizarre and unnerving.  Only one eye, sort of like an after image when you've looked at something too long.  It looks like a jaggedy ripped hole with flashing marquee lights around it, and when you try to look at, it moves over to the right (it's my right eye).  Lasts about 15 minutes or so and everything where it is is distorted.  I did just take my blood pressure (with the machine), and it's 127/82, which is actually kind of high for me.

So, I have calls and appointments to make today, I guess . . . and I've got an email in to my main regular doctor alerting him of everything.  Guess I'll be using up my FSA account after all this year.

In other news of the day - I'm in full-on divest mode.  If you're looking for some yarn, please visit my destash page on Ravelry.  There are sweater quantities.  There is Wollmeise.  There might be more on there soon.

And, I've sold my Lendrum Saxony spinning wheel.

First, I sold the Louet Victoria earlier this year to Christa - well, actually, she fostered it for awhile until she decided if she wanted it or not.  She did  :-)  So, she paid me for that in September.  And I realized last week that I haven't been using my Saxony wheel lately - and then I really thought about it and realized I haven't spun on it in at least a year, maybe longer. 

I thought about it longer.  I had moved it into my office this summer when Jupiter was with me so he didn't accidentally knock it over, and after I realized I hadn't actually spun on it in a year, I also realized that every time I see it in my office my thought is not "gee, I should move that and spin on it again," it's "geez, that thing's huge and I should move it out of here - it's really taking up a lot of space."

Yeah - pretty big clue there, huh?

So, it's sold, and I'm taking it to its new home on Saturday, which means I'll have a nice trip to The Fold in the bargain, and my cousin ME might make the drive with me  :-)  Of course if my foot is really damaged and I end up with something other than the surgical shoe, I might have to beg her to drive me there.

I'm back down to one wheel, and really, it's my wheel of choice.  My folding Lendrum.  It's all I need  :-)  That's the place I seem to be in lately.  I'm very blessed to have pretty much everything I could ever want, and I think I fell into the "Oooo, Shiny!"  trap.  I'm not a magpie - I don't truly need every little thing I see.  I am reminded of my stepson when he was little - he was with me and my now ex-husband for a holiday (I was a Holiday Stepmom back then), and we were at the grocery store.  He was very clear with me that he NEEDED a toy sword.   :-D  (We went home without the sword.)

I have more yarn than I could ever knit up in probably two lifetimes.  I passed SABLE (Stash Accumulated Beyond Life Expectancy) a few years ago.  It's uncomfortable now - kinda like my body.  There's just too much of both . . .

I've already sold a lot of yarn and it's packaged up to mail today, so hopefully I can drive myself over to the PO (which is mercifully close) on my way to the podiatrist (assuming I can get in).

I have bags for the Second Chance Shop, and I'm going through the closets again - because, really, now the clothes I was keeping because they were going to fit soon are not going to fit soon, and by the time they do fit soon, they will be woefully dated and out of style.  So, I'm piling the stuff up in the living room (assuming I can walk around much in the coming days) and I'm going to keep moving forward.


Michelle said...

Oh friend, this IS a rather sad post. I wish I could magically appear in your living room so we could sit and chat and drink herb tea and laugh and talk about getting older and remind ourselves to count our blessings even in the tough times. And I could be your chauffeur and wait-staff and rub your back....

Know that I am thinking of you and wishing I could do all these things for you and more.

Now, to decide whether to visit that destash page!

Kristyn McCain said...

So sorry you are feeling so down. I think it is the time if year - I hate this time change.

A :-) said...

Thank you both.