Sunday, April 6, 2008

Pieces of the Past . . .

This path to myself is a rocky one at times, and it continues to be about letting go of the past, which is, at times, difficult, and at other times, a complete and utter relief.

It's amazing to me how much I am learning about my spirit - my heart - on this journey. I don't know how much of this has been spurred by The Artist's Way, and how much by my own longing for wholeness, but however it's arriving, arriving it is. In fits and starts, but things are becoming more clear in many areas, and for that I am grateful. Certainly the work entailed in The Artist's Way has been enlightening, if difficult at times - and it has helped me uncover things long buried that are beneficial to my journey now.

I learned some hard lessons over this past week. It was brought home to me in a number of ways that if I do not pay attention to myself and what my body and spirit are telling me, the consequences can be dire. I think about how often in the past I have ignored clear, blazing bright signs. Sometimes for me the message has to be loud to be heard, but - I get it now. I'm listening.

I did some mental house-cleaning during the days of enforced reading deprivation, and then today, some actual divesting of things that no longer serve me - mostly clothes that don't fit - some that won't ever fit since it's unlikely I'll ever be a size 6 on the top and an 8 on the bottom again at any time soon, at least not in this particular life time. Some that were my mom's and don't really suit me - I was keeping them for other reasons, and it's time now to let them go.

And then, as I was going through the closet, I found the outfit I got married in the last time. (Yes, I've done that more than once . . . ) It was an unseasonably warm day at the end of March in 1999 - I was wearing this beautiful outfit. I was beautiful in it. It's only about a size too small, so there's a significant possibility that it would fit again - I could dye it, I could certainly wear it again (oh come on - does anyone ever wear this stuff again?). But I won't dye it, and the memories it holds now are bittersweet at best. I don't want to wear it again - it's a piece of the past that still has some hidden jagged edges for me - best to let it go. Someone will find it at the Second Chance shop and be thrilled to have it - and it will bring joy into another's life, much as it did to mine at the time. It served its purpose and now it's another just a piece of the past.

I'm finding the more I let go, the better it is for me.

There was knitting accomplished during the last week - believe it or not. I had to stop the Raj Shawl, because I couldn't read the chart ;-D So, I started a pair of basic socks out of some Opal self-striping yarn, and that was my train knitting. Not quite done yet, but soon. I finished up a prayer shawl that had been on the needles for awhile - no reading required there, and I started another one because we're getting low on the stash of them at church.

And today, while I'm home, I finished off my Yukon Leaves socks. These will count for my April socks on the SAM5 KAL. I discovered this pattern through the Knitted Squirrel. Wendi keeps finding these great free sock patterns, so I keep copying off of her :-D I don't think she minds. I like this pattern very much. It is similar to the Fawkes Socks, but I prefer this one. I used my own standard heel - that was the only mod.

The yarn is ShibuiKnits in the Midnight (2955) colorway. This yarn is a dream to work with, but it definitely a fine yarn. The extra repeat in the calf section caused me to be, literally, down to the last few yards of each skein. I knit these up on 1 1/2's and if I were to make this pattern with this yarn again, I would do one less repeat on the calves and add an extra purl stitch between the pattern repeats as this doesn't have quite as much stretch as I might like. Still in all, I'm very pleased with how they came out. Here is a closeup so you can see the stitch definition.

Now that I can read the pattern, I'm ready to start the Country Girl socks, which are the next in my DIY Sock Club, but first I have some homework for The Loopy Ewe's Spring Fling so I'm ready for my classes there!

1 comment:

Kris said...

Hurray for finished socks! they look awesome.