Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Blues Come Over Me . . .

Sometimes "the holidays" are difficult for me. This seems to be one of those years.

So much seems to come to a head at this time of year. The two oldest members of my extended family are dealing with (1) a hip replacement and bone cancer, and (2) old age and dementia. One of my Canadian cousins died just before Thanksgiving - a young man with a heart ailment. And one of my other Canadian cousins was just diagnosed with large and small cell lymphoma.

All I want to do right now is isolate myself. It just seems like there is too much swirling all around me. Tonight I was supposed to go to a Christmas concert up on the Northwest side, and I just could not motivate to go out in the crappy weather.

I missed Thanksgiving altogether because of the stupid cold I had that still has me coughing. And now my left foot hurts in a new spot. This is particularly disheartening. I have done quite well and continued to get better all year long. I still have daily pain from the plantar fasciitis, but it's nowhere near what it was - and custom orthotics have helped immensely. I'm trying to start walking on the treadmill again, but I can't get past about 15 minutes. . . I must have walked too much yesterday in my new hiking boots (with the orthotics in them) because when I got home last night, the center of the ball of my foot seemed to be in the wrong place - like it's pushed out somehow. Feels like I'm walking on a lump. I know better than to say "what next," but JesusMaryandJoseph, WTF next?!

In an effort to make myself feel better - and not eat - I bought some yarn. And a couple of books - both things that usually make me feel better. I stayed up late on Thanksgiving to catch a Wollmeise update. That yarn has not yet arrived from Germany; however, I also caught the Friday morning grab bags, and those skeins (Claudia calls them "We're Different") arrived yesterday. These are skeins that came out light or dark or were test colorways or just somehow didn't make the full grade. They are just as beautiful, if not more so than any regular Wollmeise colorway. I only got one duplicate, and it's of a colorway that will make an awesome shawl. L-R, Gazpacho, Resi, Gewitter Himmel, Tiefer See (spiralen), Pfauenage, Rosenrot, and two skeins of Kornblume.

I even spun my first silk (Chasing Rainbows Dyeworks - the colorway is called Embers), thanks to a wonderful afternoon up at The Fold with Toni. I'm really happy with it, but it's just not doing much for my mood. Not much is helping right now. All will be well - my foot just probably needs a good night's sleep.

So - apologies to Knitterary and Amy - I guess I was only good for one year of stash busting.

I just have the blues . . .



. . . it'll all look better in the morning. It always does . . .

6 comments:

Linda said...

Hopefully a good night's sleep will make it all seem better. You have friends here for you, too. I'm afraid that if I call I'll wake you up, but call me anytime you need a boost. {{{{hugs}}}}

åsa said...

I don´t have a solution to your "feeling downs" but I understand you totally.
This year has been a lousy year for me too. In january one of our dear neighbours died, two months after that I lost another good friend, he got cancer. Our dog was old, so we decided to let the veterinary put him to sleep. And then my oldest cat was ill, so he went the same way. Now in august my mother passed away, and some days I still wonder if it´s worth getting up from my bed...

But somehow life goes on, day after day, and things get a bit easier. I believe that next year will be a good year!
With no funerals, no sickness (I´ve had enough of it!)
And only a lot of happiness and joy!

Great hugs to you -and remember- it is allowed to be sad sometimes!

Knittinggarden said...

I hope you're feeling better today, Adrienne. Enjoying all of that beautiful Wollmeise has to help some!

Michelle said...

Dear friend, you really need to email me your phone number so I can call! You lifted me up recently, so it's my turn to do the lifting. Beautiful yarn, but I think you need some singing engagements. There is nothing like singing to lift the spirits and chase away the demons who would like to keep us down.

Bethany said...

Hugs my friend. Watching the people we care for decline is so very difficult. Hugs my friend...

A :-) said...

Thank you all :-) As I thought, things always look better in the morning - and I'm firmly convinced that the best way to get over the blues is to listen to some. I hope you enjoyed BB King - I sure do.