Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Geez . . .

This coughing up a lung phase of the stupid cold I had is really getting old now.

I'm serious.  I cannot stand this.

There's no reason for me to still be coughing - and yesterday I had one of those episodes where I thought I was going to expire - you know, the kind where you're coughing so hard you're choking because you can barely get air into your lungs, succeeding only to violently cough some more, tears running down your (by now) red/practically purple face.  At work.  Great.  :-S

Geez.  Some days having asthma is the worst.  I would say all days, except that normally my asthma is so well managed and controlled that I barely remember that I have it.  It took me a long time to get to that place - for years I tried to pretend I didn't really have asthma.  I was so angry . . . it robbed me of my professional singing voice, and since I very much defined myself as a singer, it was way hard to lose something so precious to me.  I spent so long fighting - not taking my meds (they affect my vocal control), which would inevitably lead to a bad, bad crash.  Finally, one day, my asthma doc here said something that made sense to me and the lightbulb went on - it went pretty much like this:

"A, if you had a chronic condition like high blood pressure, would you take medication to control it?"

"Yes, certainly I would - my mom had high blood pressure - you have to take your medication for it because they call it the silent killer and it's doing damage if you don't take your meds." (Out of the mouths of goofballs . . . how is it that sometimes it's so hard to see the forest for the trees?)

"A, asthma is like high blood pressure - it's a chronic condition. I can't make you take your medication, but pretending you don't have it - how's that working out for you?"


"Oh . . ."

That was probably seven or eight years ago now, and since learning to manage it, I've gone down to the lowest dose of one med, and then down further to the lowest dose of the one below the first one.  I RARELY have to use my rescue inhaler.  Seriously, like maybe once a year.  But whenever there is an upper respiratory thing going on, that's when things go pear-shaped.

Four puffs off my rescue inhaler (that's two doses - which is actually a lot) managed to quell the cough yesterday, allowing me to breathe again, but it was hours before my face turned back to its normal color, and I was zippy all afternoon from the inhaler - and then, I was wiped from all that coughing and my lungs were hurting.

So steps are being taken  :-)  I have some cough stuff from the doc that I pickdc up tonight - enough is enough.  I'm not sick anymore and there's no reason for me to be coughing like a fiend.  And I got to get some butter rum Lifesavers - what a treat!!  :-D

In other news of the day, I had a good lesson last night - making my brain work learning new tunes when I haven't even memorized the old ones yet.  I didn't have the wherewithal to really get a lot of practice in this last week - when your lungs are cranky, playing a wind instrument isn't always that appealing.  There is a part of me that occasionally peeps out and says, "You really think you're going to COMPETE???   Really????"  with a snide little snicker.  And my response continues to be, "Why yes, yes I AM going to compete next summer.  What about it?"  I need a goal to work for - competing seems to be the best way for me to focus.

And I received notice today that FINALLY my kilt fabric has been woven and is now on its way to me after multiple delays.  I'm looking forward to seeing it.  Next I need to get some ghillies.  Ian has a source for those.

I got my pipes back on Sunday with their new sheepskin bag - what a difference!  For years I had a Canmore bag (which is made out of Gortex), and then about a year and a half ago I got a hide bag which was much different than the Canmore - and quite heavy.  Ian, my teacher, was right (he pretty much always is) about sheepskin.  I think it's going to be worth the care it requires.  And speaking of Ian - even though I had a tough time last night - I got a "you're right" about a grace note, which made us both laugh out loud, because I'm hardly ever right about a grace note 

That's probably only funny if you're a piper.  :-D

I'm doing pretty well with Project Zero and have completed a lot of stuff from the reserve list as well as stuff that wasn't actually on the list (clearing the wetbar over the weekend wasn't on the list - but it was necessary).  There is another carload for the Second Chance Shop on Saturday, and I'm donating all my weaving books to the local library - they are great references for someone who does textile weaving.  I continue to make space for whatever is coming into my life.  I still don't know what it is, but I am still led to make space in all areas of my life.  I'm thinking that the basement is going to have to be tackled at some point. . .

Still trying to decide about what treadmill to get - the old one is out in the garage now, waiting for trash day.


candy said...

Hope you feel better soon. My problem is that I can't take most asthma medicines.

A :-) said...

Thanks Candy - I'm much better now.