Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Looking Forward

Here we are - it's the end of the calendar year, and I find myself looking forward to 2012.

I've spent most of 2011 here on the blog chronicling my life in photographs as part of the 365Project. I've loved it - and I gave serious thought to continuing it for another year. But, it's time to move on.

Those who know me in person know it's no secret that I have struggled with the size of my ass for most of my life. I even started an anonymous blog earlier this year to see about working through some of my issues there. Let it suffice to say that the struggle continues, but that I'm figuring out how to move forward.

Some back story - two, geez, maybe three years ago, I managed to lose close to 60 pounds. About half of what I wanted and thought would be best for me to lose. Things were going along quite well, and then, I got injured. I developed plantar fasciitis in both heels. So, I switched to my recumbent bike for cardio - and rode it so much that I hurt my tailbone (I still have to sit on pillow with a hole in it at work and on the bike). That left me with pretty much no cardio . . .

I can hear you now - why didn't you try something else? What about swimming? Well, I did try other stuff, but I never really enjoyed any of it as much as I enjoyed walking. I did start weight training (which is awesome, BTW), but I made poor food choices along the way . . . Let me clarify: I used food to try to numb the constant pain. I dealt with constant pain every single day until sometime in March of this year. Yes - that's daily pain with every step for more than two years. Truthfully, I think I did really well not to jump off a cliff or kill someone during those years.

When every step you take feels like someone is shoving knives up through your heels (graphic, I know - but absolutely true), it's a test of strength and will to just get out of bed (the pain was always worst first thing in the morning). So, yeah, I picked back up about 30 pounds. and I've been going up and down the same 10 for this entire year.

And I can't blame it on injuries anymore - now, it is my own choices that are tripping me up.

I have weeks where I get both the food and the exercise in sync, but it doesn't last very long, and I have to say that Christmas this year was tough - I ate stuff I never eat, much to my detriment.

Throughout all of this, I kept going to Weight Watchers at least once a month. I'm a lifetime member (not at goal), so I don't get charged for missed meetings, etc., but I do pay for a monthly pass (the way to go, folks!) so I can go anytime, pretty much anywhere.

I believe that 2012 is a make or break year for me. I either get healthy, or go home and just be fat for the rest of my natural (and likely shortened) life. I'm going to be talking alot about the size of my ass in 2012, so if hearing a 50-something woman bitch and moan, and struggle and win and lose, and most of all learn about herself in a fight for her health is not your cup of tea, I'll understand.

If you read this blog at all, you already know I rarely pull a punch, so some of it could be painful. But also as a 50-something woman, I'm virtually invisible to more than half the world's population - so there should be no serious repercussions ;-) And for the other half - well, girl, pull up a chair. Issues that affect us as women in the world are always on my mind, and I will welcome your comments, thoughts, cheers, and the occasional screams of pain.

Of course I'll be talking about other stuff too - there's always going to be knitting content, and spinning content, and in 2012 there's going to be weaving content because I'm insistent that I'm actually going to learn to USE the loom I acquired nearly a year ago. There will also be dulcimer content and whatever else appeals to me, and you'll hear plenty about my year with my yarn.

I hear often, lately, that blogs are passé. Well, not to me. I like reading - and I like writing, and I'm about to use this blog to chronicle another year of my life - in words this time.

Let the party begin . . . ;-)


Michelle said...

As I have ever since I first "met" you, I am looking forward to the journey!

A :-) said...

I'm so glad you're here, my friend :-)

Corrina said...

That's just the stuff I want to read about!

A :-) said...

Corrina - that's great! :-)

SusanB-knits said...

I enjoyed your year in pictures and look forward to your year in words. Who knows, we may share a few hints that will help each other with changing our eating habits.

A :-) said...

Susan - thanks so much! I'm glad you have enjoyed the photos this year. And you're right - hopefully we can encourage each other on this journey :-)

Kristyn said...

Bravo to you on working toward your weight loss and fitness goals. I am with you and am trying to lose some serious lbs myself. I agree with your about loving blogs - I love the insight into others lives.

A :-) said...

Krysten! Thanks, and glad I'm not the only one who still likes to blog :-)

Linda M said...

Annie, I'll be reading along and will jump in if I have something to say. My first offer is YOGA. I started taking classes at my local YMCA in August and they've already made an enormous difference in my physical well-being. I'm converting fat to muscle and my back is much better than before. The secret for me was falling in with a teacher I like and whose style suits me.

Good luck with 2012 - I'll be exercising and trying to eat right along with you.

A :-) said...

Linda - Thank you for this tip - I will post tomorrow about my yoga experiences. :-)