Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter . . .

That's exactly what I did on November 8, 2014 - one week after I started back on program.  As part of one of the exercises in the Success Handbook, I was supposed to write my future self a letter.  I had one of my friends take it and mail it to me - all I asked was that she mail it to me sometime in January.

It arrived today in the mail, and I thought I would share it with you . . .

8 November 2014

Dearest J.A.,

As I am writing, you've just finished your first week back at WW and you lost 3 pounds.  Yay You!!  I want you to look at these photos that you took of yourself today in the sunroom.   
You do not have to hate this body.  If you are still feeling that way, please, let it go.  You can say goodbye to it, but don't forget to celebrate this body!  It got you this far.  The body in these photos is strong and sturdy.  It can walk a long way and it's way stronger than pretty much anyone you know.  Yay You Two Times!!!  You can remember where you came from, but it's time to let the past go.  Let go of whatever you have been holding on to - your hands need to be free now to catch all the amazing and wonderful stuff that is coming to you. 
By now, you are smaller than the body in these photos, so maybe take some new photos again, OK?  :-)  You're still you, though, that will never change - all those wonderful things that make you, you - you can never lose those.  They don't go away, so don't worry that you might lose them as you continue to shrink.  Your focus is nothing short of amazing, and I know you are happier. I hope you love yourself more than you did the day you wrote this.  I hope you might have gotten out of the house a couple of times, but if not, hang in.  You are on that path.
You are the strongest woman I know, A.  You are beautiful both inside and out.  Any man would be so lucky to have you in his life.  Your friends are lucky to have you, and so is your family - and your work.  You made it through the Holiday Season, and you're looking at a bright new year now.
I love that you have chosen to use pretty much every tool that WW has for you.  How is your Success Handbook going?  I love that you took these photos for it.  I love that you are so focused.  I love that you are so successful.  I love that you are so happy.  I love you.  You are truly now on the journey of your life.  You GO, Girl!!  2015 is ALL ABOUT YOU.  I mean it.  It's yours - so let the past go and fly.  And when you need to, remember this:
"I believe in you as you step forward in your life.
I'm inspired by you for keeping your dream alight . . .
for facing the challenge and achieving your goals.
I'm proud of you as I watch the bright light of your spirit
embrace the world."
When you read these words, think of your time on Iona and remember how it centered you and changed your life.  Know that your light and your dreams shine as brightly as they ever did.  Life is your banquet - remember what Auntie Mame said about it:  most poor bastards are starving to death.  You have everything you need - all the time, all the focus, all the love. Your dreams, your joy, your spirit - These things are not dimmed by the size of your ass.  Who the fuck cares about the size of your ass anyway?!  ;-D
Take good care of yourself, Sweetheart.  If you haven't had a massage yet, please schedule it ASAP, and if your left leg still hurts, go see Dr. O'C immediately.
All my love and all my support,
 A :-)
I'm kinda verklempt now, and this was exactly what I needed to read today.
Sweet dreams.

p.s.  I'll see about taking some new photos this weekend, I have a spa day scheduled for Saturday, and I have an appointment with Dr. O'C in two weeks.


Michelle said...

I know I feel lucky to have found you out there in the ether! You bless me! (I hope I return the favor.)

A :-) said...

You know you do, Michelle :-) I am so thankful for you!!

candy said...

Gotta love yourself. I know it's hard. You have that look on your face like I get when I look at my saggy jowls. I hope your next pictures show your beautiful smile.

A :-) said...

Thanks, Candy :-)

Anonymous said...

Can I share one of my favorite weight loss/mental attitude concepts? It has helped me with the struggle--

You are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingernails. You are not fingernails.

(Makes sense, right? Sometimes the mental attitude makes a difference.)


Michelle said...

That's brilliant, T! I'll have to remember that!