Saturday, January 3, 2015

WW Week 9

I'm writing the beginning of this post before I head to my meeting.  I'm concerned that I might be up on the scale this week.  Would that be the end of the world?  Probably not - I think it would just mean that I'm not perfect . . .   Oooo, yeah, not perfect . . .

For as much work as I've done in this area - read Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection (maybe I need to read it again . . . ) - I still want to be perfect.  To be the good girl. 

But it's in the very title:  "Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are," and she says it in so many ways throughout the book. 

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.  It's about the choice to show up and be real.  the choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.
Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life.  Research shows that perfectionism hampers success.  In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.
Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?"  Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?

Well, this week, I am a human who ate more than was best for me.  In the past, that would have been my cue to walk away - to not go to WW today . . .  to wait until next week when I had a better handle on things . . . to use food for other than fuel to comfort myself on my failure to be perfect.  I'd like to say "how ridiculous is that?"  But you know, that's shaming - that's casting shame on my efforts this week, and that's not on.  It's not OK.  Because you know what?  It could have been a LOT worse that 15 extra points.  I could have thrown up my hands on Sunday when I chose to eat all the rest of the WPs.  I didn't.  I did the best I could throughout the week, and I went over.  I've gone over before, but somehow my brain thinks that 1 over is acceptable, where 15 equates to failure.

I often use more of my Weekly Points (or as one of my friends calls them:  Party Points  :-D) on Saturday and Sunday - and for two months this has worked really well for me.  I have some indulgences on the weekends and then I'm pretty cool for the weekdays.  Weekdays are always easier for me - being at home on the weekends has always been more challenging for me.  This week, I ate ALL of my WPs on Saturday and Sunday (the first two days of my food week), leaving me to do my best to stay at 31 Points daily for the other five days of the week.

That didn't go so well . . .  It would have gone a lot better had I managed to work more vegetables into my meals.

In addition this week, my more than four-pounds loss last week dropped me down another point category, from 32 to 31.  So, right off the bat, I had 7 fewer Points to work with.  I knew I wanted to step up my exercise, and I did - effectively giving me those 7 points back.  But I was 15 points over for the week.  That's a lot.  Guess I'll know in half an hour the results.  I wonder if the prednisone made my hungry after the fact.  I've heard that it makes a lot of people hungry, but that's never really been the case for me - it just makes me cranky and hold fluid.  And I know I'm just looking for something - other than myself - to blame, should blame become necessary.

Time to go and face the scale . . .

Well, I was up 2.2, but that actually seems somewhat reasonable, and part of it could be bounceback from all the drugs that were still in my system last week.

Got some great food planning ideas at today's meeting!  I'm looking forward to this week and to eating some different and healthy foods!

Here's the Check In:

Weight: +2.2
Daily Points:  31
Weekly Points:  49 (ate 60)
Activity Points:  Earned 7 (ate 7)

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