Friday, August 8, 2008

Dance Like No One is Watching . . .

Five years ago today my life was altered forever. Radically changed. My now ex-husband came home and out of nowhere blasted our lives out of the water. Turns out he wasn't the person I thought he was . . . he wasn't the person anyone thought he was. It was the beginning of a 10-month stretch of events that would leave me shell-shocked and wondering if I would ever be OK again.

The divorce was brutal - how do you just stop loving someone? Do you? Can you? Just stop? It took me a long time to heal. I used to wonder about the women you would see on telly or read about who said they had no idea their spouses were . . . um . . . not totally committed to the marriage. I used to think to myself, "what, are they stupid? How could you not know?" I'm here to tell you - I didn't know. I had no idea - probably because my life continued on in its fashion - plans were made for the future, etc. It was like being blind-sided by a Mac truck.

I reflect on this annually - I probably always will. It's an anniversary - a life marker, like a birthday. It's a time to take stock, particularly coming as it does so close to what for me is the new year (still stuck in that old "school year calendar" :-) ). Last year was the first year I started to feel remotely human again. And this year - well, it's hard to believe it's been five years. Another time. Another life.

And so I dance like no one's watching. Wildly. With abandon! Because life is too short not to enjoy every second of it. I believe we're meant to be happy, to find what makes the heart sing. So what about it? Put some old disco music on the stereo or your iPod, and dance. Dance for your heart. Dance for your spirit. Dance until you laugh - because you will :-) Who cares if you look like you're doing the funky scarecrow - No one's watching :-)

A's favorite dance tunes (in case you need some inspiration):

Rock Steady - The Whispers
Dancing Queen - ABBA
Love's Theme - Barry White and the Love Unlimited Orchestra
Stomp - The Brothers Johnson
Fantasy - Earth Wind and Fire
And the Beat Goes On - The Whispers
Burn Rubber - The Gap Band
Let's Get Serious - Jermaine Jackson
I Love You - Donna Summer
Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel - Tavares


Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

My friend with the adorable little daughter Hannah pictured recently on my blog is going through something similar right now, only I saw it coming and she wouldn't listen. Actually, I was concerned seven years ago when she was falling for him, and she didn't listen to me then. My mom told me to shut up once I'd said my peace, because if my worries came true, I'd still want to be her friend so I could help pick up the pieces. I really hate having to help pick up pieces..... Broken lives suck. You've been through it as a wife; I've been through it as a child and friend. Sigh.

Yarnsnob said...

I like to dance to History Repeating by the Propellerheads, Comin' Home Baby by Mel Torme and Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue. Dancin gin you kitchen in your pajamas is fun!

Linda said...

*sigh* I suppose it's good to mark major milestones in our lives, even if they're not happy ones. I'm not sure what to make of the fact that you recall the exact day this happened, either. Go ahead and dance all you like honey, you deserve it. Right now, the only song I can recall that makes me want to dance every time I hear it is Kiss by Prince.

Anonymous said...

Having been through it, I know the feelings well. I saw it coming, but didn't want to accept it at the time. Honestly though, it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I've been dancing since :-) I hope you always dance :-)

The Knitted Squirrel said...

Been that EXACT same spot as you and I had 2 babies under 3!. It is definately not easy but you learn from it and grow. You will NEVER let yourself get in that situation again.
I am not the person I was then, I am now a more confident, stand up for myself person, and I like that!
You sound like you are on that road too! Keep on that path. I guarantee that you will like the person you become!