Sunday, December 8, 2013

Change is Hard . . .

Today I uploaded the last regular episode of my weekly video podcast, All About African Violets.  Producing this weekly series has been a labor of love for the past 18 months, but when I came back from Scotland in late October, I realized that it would soon be time to stop.

When I started, I knew that the podcast would be finite - that there would come a day when I would be out of naterial and it would be time to end.  At that time I figured if I could get all the interviews and show footage I hoped for and all the info/how to segments, I would have about 18 months of material.

I was pretty much right on the money.  It's right about 18 months - and if I were to continue production I would begin to repeat myself.

None of that makes it any easier to let it go.

I am blue - and yet I know that the timing is right.  It has been a tremendous ride, that's for sure.  I met so many viewers at various events, and so many were active participants with me - asking questions and leaving comments on the website and FaceBook page.  I learned so much from all the guests who were gracious enough to sit down with me for 15 or 20 minutes (sometimes longer!) to share their experience and their knowledge with me and my viewers.

I produced a weekly episode faithfully for 76 weeks - I never missed an episode, even when I was traveling.  It was a lot of work, but man, it was a LOT of fun  :-)  And it succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.  For a niche podcast, it developed a pretty substantial audience that was international in scope early on and continued to grow throughout its entire run.

All the episodes will remain on the website for the foreseeable future so that people can still access them and recommend them to other growers, as well as newbie growers.  And yes, I've thought about DVDs - I'm looking into that possibility.  And I'm quite sure to film some "specials" in the coming months, but regular production has ceased.

I would estimate that stopping production will give me back probably 4 - 5 hours back into my weekends.  It might not sound like a lot, but to someone who works full-time, it's a gold mine.  Four or five more hours. . .  that's huge.

I believe that letting go of my podcast is part of the way that I am making space in my life for whatever is coming, and I continue to physically divest here in the house - making space both figuratively and literally in my life and in my home for whatever is coming.  I still don't know what that might be, but my heart and spirit are open to it and I know it will appear when the time is right and all will be made clear.  In the meantime, I'm embracing the gift of time I have just given myself.

I finished the episode on Friday night and did the editing and took care of the post production details yesterday.  And then.last night, for the first time in weeks, I had enough energy and enough time at the SAME time to finally get a good pipe practice in.  It felt really good to sit down and just play again.  I can already see some of those found hours given to pipe practice.  :-)

Hard to believe (how did 18 months fly so quickly?!).  Sad in some ways (saying goodby on camera was hard).  Exciting in others (something is coming and I'm preparing for it).

Change is hard - but change is inevitable.

A friend gave me this years ago - I keep it where I can see it every day.  It's how I'm feeling right about now:


 The teeny weeny print says: "Pluck" on the yellow bag.  And on the right: "Her heart glowed with a degree of happy assurance."

I LOVE this - and although my heart is sad, it's also glowing for whatever comes next. And so I'm embracing this change in the routine of my life and I will keep moving forward. :-)


Patricia in WA said...

Annie, I've enjoyed every episode of your podcast and plan to enjoy them all over again as "re-runs" :-) You introduced me to a fabulous hobby and, yes, I learned to limit my collection. Thanks for all of the information and encouragement you shared with all of us and for making us all feel like part of your wonderful AV community. Wishing you the very best as we "keep moving forward".

candy said...

4 or 5 hours is a lot when you are working. I hope the podcasts stay up because my computer won't play them, it's too old, and I really feel like I've missed a lot.

A :-) said...

Patricia - thank you so much for watching, and for your kind words :-) I love that you're going to watch again as re-runs!

A :-) said...

Candy - I'm surprised they won't play for you. I hope you get a new computer soon!!