Saturday, January 2, 2016

Moving Forward . . .

What a day yesterday . . .   I spent the better part of it in angst and guilt because of a decision I made.  A decision that I knew in my heart was the best decision for me and for my spirit.  Thankfully my friend, T, reminded me of how much work I did to be able to come to the decision to end the podcast I used to produce, All About African Violets, and I calmed myself down.  The long and the short of it is that I needed to stop.  It was best for me.  My life is moving in new directions and I need and want to be available to follow the paths that are on the horizon, whether I know what they are yet or not  :-)  New adventures!

This is what I posted on the Facebook Group yesterday for my former podcast.  (See what I did there?  I'm working on calling it "former.")
"It's January 1, 2016. I knew this day would be hard, because, you know, change is hard - but I want you all to know how thrilling it has been for me (and still is) that something I have been so passionate about has been so meaningful to so many. I encourage you to take something wonderful in your own life - something you are passionate about - and find a way to share that passion and knowledge. It will be life-changing for you - it was for me.
It's time to keep moving forward. This Facebook page will be going away within the next two weeks. Thank you seems so inadequate - but thank you. Thank you so much for watching.
I am off on new adventures now - I hope you will have wonderful adventures of your own in this New Year 2016.
All my thanks and best wishes,
What an awesome run I had!  I am thrilled that it ran for so long and that so many loved it.  Letting go is proving to be rough -  not so much for me as for my viewers.  I have been repeatedly asked why I can't continue, why won't I still keep the episodes online, why don't I donate them to the AVSA, won't I just do special episodes again, and the list goes on.  Folks are having a hard time realizing that all good things must come to an end and that it is my choice to move forward.  I like to think of it like Downton Abbey.  Here in the States, Season Six starts tomorrow night.  Season Six is the final season.  There won't be any more after that.  Downton Abbey is not coming back.  And, on a far lesser scale, neither is All About African Violets.

But still the cry goes out, "Why?  Why can't you still do this for us?"

It is ingrained in us to put others first.  It is particularly ingrained in women to do this - that somehow it is selfish to care for ourselves before others.  We are taught and conditioned from a young age to consider others' feelings before our own.  I was fighting a lifetime of conditioning yesterday because it's not selfish to take care of ourselves.  In fact, we must.  Even the airlines know this - else why would they tell us in case of emergency to secure our own oxygen masks first?  We cannot care for anyone else without caring first for ourselves.  I believe this with all my heart.  That's why I know that I've made the right decision - because I made it for myself.  I've done what is best for me - what I needed to do to keep moving forward in my own life. 
There are many answers to the question of why I have chosen to end my podcast, but my answer is simply: "It's time to keep moving forward."

Here's today's look at the Amaryllis!  Yes, that's a new strap-like leaf popping up on the left!

For anyone who needs encouragement to follow their heart . . .

No comments: