Monday, November 30, 2015

Keep Moving Forward . . .

NOTE:  I have no idea why Blogger insists on keeping two paragraphs of this post in red . . .

Today is the last day of NaBloPoMo.  Although I'm about ready for a little blogging break, it has been a helpful exercise for me and I'm really glad I decided to participate in it.

As I look back on this month of daily posts, one of the things that has been a somewhat regular theme is that of:  I am enough.  I put that in bold because I think that women, in particular, often struggle with this concept.  To know that whatever I have been able to accomplish is enough is a big deal  To know that I am enough, is huge.

As I have looked at my life in this past month I've spent a lot of time thinking about where I'm at, what shape my house is in, and how I want to move forward.  Writing daily made so many things clear for me!  But I was also helped along this journey by my friends.  There was one day early on in the month when multiple people helped me see the forest for the trees.  I thank them!!

First my trainer helped me see that I was doing well with Weight Watchers.  I had been back at it for seven weeks, and I'd lost 11+ pounds by that point.  I really thought I should have lost closer to 20 pounds by then because I was thinking that I should be able to lose 10 pounds a month and seven weeks was almost a month.  At the minimum, I thought I should have lost at least 14 by then, which would have been two pounds a week.  Well, no, I was averaging about a pound and a half a week. Seriously - that's awesome and I couldn't see it because I had an arbitrary number that wasn't right for me stuck in my head. So - Yay Me!!  He also helped me that same morning to see that my exercise "homework" could be broken down and that I didn't have to get all of it done all at one time - and that I didn't even have to get it all done immediately - that I could could start with one thing and build from there.  This is big because I have a tendency to be a bit black & white with stuff like this, e.g., if I can't get it all done at once, then I can't get it done.

And second -  I had been feeling the strain of my weekly podcast.  I started weekly production again in May of this year, but by earlier this month I knew that I was running out of material again, which would mean that I would begin to repeat myself. I spoke to two different, trusted friends and they were able to help me break it down.  I kept thinking that I had to hold on until the end of the year, when what I really needed to do was honor what I knew to true.

It was a banner day  :-)

Throughout the month I began to see more ways in which I could simplify my life - more things around the house that needed to be donated so that someone else could use them - and more ways in which I could take better care of my health and my spirit.

And so I have continued on my journey of health and wellness - I'm 10 weeks into WW now and am down 18 pounds.  I'll take that.  :-)

I'm not where I would like to be with my exercise homework yet - mainly due to an inflammatory bout of Wonky Knee, but I have gotten more stretching in and am working with the Dreaded Foam Roller nearly every day.  It's really helping.  Getting my mind past the persistent thought that I used to be able to pound out an hour and a half on the treadmill every morning and so should be able to do that again immediately - that was a pretty big deal for me.  I'm doing the best I can at the moment.  It's enough.

I'd like to say that my office is back to being a comfortable and inviting place rather than the last cluttered construction staging area . . . but I didn't quite get that far.   But I will, and, for now, that's enough  :-)

I decorated for Christmas a little early and have been enjoying it more than you can possibly imagine.  I didn''t go with the big tree, but the things I have around me make me happy, and I'm holding off another year on changing the star lights  ;-)

Probably the biggest decision I made in November was to end the podcast at Episode 111.  I used podcast interview footage I had been holding on to for the last three episodes and I released the last look at All About African Violets on Friday.  That was a little early, but having already had two days off made it seem like Sunday, so I decided to put it out there and move forward.  111 episodes seems like a good legacy, and 111 is a really awesome and powerful numberAll About African Violets is done now.  No special episodes are planned this time.  It was hard, but we all know that change is hard.  When a television show's ratings go down, it gets cancelled, and if you run out of material, you begin to repeat yourself.  I could see my viewership stats, and I was out of material.  The costs associated with keeping the server space on Wordpress were substantial; and, it took me anywhere from 4 to 5 hours a week to produce an episode every week.  I'm looking forward to having that money stay in savings and very much looking forward to having that time back in my life.  But mostly, it was knowing that I needed to say, "enough."  I'm proud of myself for getting that right.  :-)  It was time to keep moving forward.

The words "Keep Moving Forward" are really important to me.  They are very much about how I strive to live my life.  If "Dance Like No One is Watching" is my motto, "Keep Moving Forward" is my credo.  It's clear that November has been a watershed month in many, many areas for me - so many ways in which I have actively made a choice to let something go and/or move forward in some way.  I thank Samhain and NaBloPoMo for this.  Samhain for the natural drawing in of the spirit - this part of the year when it's time to percolate and think and prepare for what will come in the spring.   And NaBloPoMo for guiding me to get my thoughts out and down on the page.  Posting every day was very therapeutic for these 30 days past.

And now it's Christmastime  :-)  Enjoy . . .





3 comments:

Michelle said...

Keep posting, friend. Otherwise, I miss you too much!

A :-) said...

:-)

Liz said...

Very brave of you to give up the podcast. I've watched several that should. You can tell when someone's interests change and they won't let go of the past. I mainly watch knitting podcasts and it seems like everyone is excited when they first start and always feel obligated to keep it going, even when they have very little content.

I will miss your daily blogging, but understand that life gets in the way.