Sunday, November 8, 2015

That'll Do, Pig. That'll do . . .

Yesterday  I said I was going to have to start saying no more often.  I didn't realize that I was already doing it.  As I look back over this first week of NaBloPoMo, I am very, very glad that I decided to participate.

Not only do I call myself a piper, I nearly always describe myself as a writer. Getting stuff down on the page is important somehow.  It's where and how I often work through things that are troubling me.  The act of writing often makes things very clear for me - and one thing I have discovered about myself in my life thus far, is that I often am doing something or am already on the path toward a goal before I become fully conscious of it.  I think that sounds a bid odd - but consider the following. . .
  • Prompted by the construction in my home early this year, I began a serious downsizing of pretty much everything in the house.  I knew that divesting was going to be best for me in the long run and it felt very right to be letting things go.  I figured I should learn more about it, and all of a sudden - it was everywhere, so I picked up the Kon Marie book and read that I'd already pretty much done what she espouses.
  • I was a member of Ravelry group, but I never went all in - I paid $106 for patterns and I got every pattern I paid for, but I knew when to say enough and I backed away.  The group turns out to have been led by an alleged con-artist.
These are just two examples, but I found myself this week standing up and saying either "no" or "enough" before I wrote yesterday about needing to start doing it.
  • Last week I was approached by a nominating committee to take a place on a board for an African violet organization.  I respectfully declined.
  • Last fall I test knit for a designer and she made a big public deal about gifting all her testers with project bags.  No bags.  I followed up with her six months ago and she had a sob story about why they weren't done.  I followed up a few days ago on Friday, and of course there was another excuse.  I wrote her back and pretty much called her out on her shit.  I wasn't rude, but I was very clear that if she never intended to send these bags she never should have mentioned them in the first place. And then I told her I'd make it easy on her - I thanked her for the opportunity, and told her I'd skip the bag.  Her response?  "I'm sorry you feel that way."  Really???  More like, sorry you caught me in a lie. My last word?   "Live and learn . . . "  I cut my losses and said ENOUGH.
  • Yesterday, the chair of an African violet show next spring asked me take a job for the show, and for only the second time (first time, see above) in my African violet life, I said no.  I've always said yes - but this time, I knew that it was best for me to say no.  Man, it was hard, though, because this woman is organized and she'll do a wonderful job.  I would love working for/with her, but the timing is all wrong, and so I said no.
And so, clearly, I'm already on the path I need for myself - and it's good.  I'm taking care of myself by saying no when I need to, and I'm happy about that.

I affirm that what I do is enough.

What I am able to accomplish on any given day - it's enough.

What I do is enough.

I am enough.

There it is - that power that I am taking back. When I choose my activities so that they support rather than deplete me, I know I'm on the right track.


Anonymous said...

Saying no to a request is not easy, but if it saves you, you must. I had breast cancer 11 years ago and saying no is one of the first things I learned. I said no to having cancer in my body and from there learned to say no to people who asked too much of me. This is my life, to live as I see the purpose, as you are doing with your life. Saying no is empowerment. It doesn't mean that we're being witchy. We have learned to protect ourselves so that our life has meaning, fulfillment and happiness. Go forward and feel free to say no with conviction. Janice H.

A :-) said...

Janice, you are so right :-)

Linda said...

Awww! That clip brought up a lot of tears today, for some reason.

Yep, enough is enough. I wish I could say that to my job, too. :-/

A :-) said...

It's one of my favorite movies and I haven't watched it in forever. Probably time to pull it out. :-) Sorry work is still so challenging :-(